Decolonizing Fitness — Trauma

This article was originally posted on That Fancy Life Blog  CW: mentions of weight gain, intentional weight loss, dieting   The medical community has a deep dark history regarding the pain of Black women. Black women are seen as superhuman. The reason we are given this moniker is because no one seems to believe us when we say we are in pain. I have learned this the hard way. Today I cried. I cried happy tears. I cried tears of anger. I cried tears of joy. And I cried tears of sadness. I was a whole crying mess. I was...

The first magical skill I learned was how to change a flat tire on a bicycle. I was twenty years-old and had recently obtained my first queer haircut. Loitering on the lawn of the college bike collective, I watched as groups of two to three intimidating-looking dykes hovered around upside down bicycles holding wrenches and greasy rags. I was desperate to pick up some mechanical skills to bolster my baby butch ego, but the shame of not even knowing where to start forced me to keep on walking. I spent the following summer learning bike mechanics from a local nonprofit...

When I’m upset, energy rises inside me. I clench my fists.  I feel rage. I used to head to the gym and run until I couldn’t or lifted heavy weights until my arms shook. I thought this was healthier than throwing things, drinking, or other self-destructive behaviors but, sometimes, I did those things too. Dealing with unpleasant feelings for masculine folks is a complicated process and unfortunately, emotional processing skills in masc communities aren’t often talked about.   However, Ilya’s “Fitness Can Be Used As A Healing Modality” post has really saved me. The post taught me to understand fitness...